If there is one thing that has saved my life it has been taking ownership.
Yet it is the one thing as "children" or "humans in transition" we may not want to acknowledge. Kids find it easier to lay blame at someone else's door for things they have done wrong or simply not acknowledge how they might be responsible for something. As parents we are teaching our children for most of their life how to take ownership. This day and age we see a culture that wants to take ownership of the great stuff, the limelight, the fast lifestyle but not the work, the perseverance , the discipline and sometimes delayed gratuity that builds solid foundations for a truly successful life.
Ownership for the context of this blog is about - taking control, holding ourselves accountable for our actions, partnership or relationships, takeover, occupancy our rightful place or even our true identity.
The questions presented to me are:
Are you taking ownership of your own decisions?
Are you taking ownership of your own mistakes?
Are you taking ownership of your challenges and hard places as well as the mountains and hilltops?
Are you taking ownership of your journey?
Are taking ownership of your identity?
I am thinking about the human journey, not simply the singular journey but the socio-political journey we see unfold in many countries, I am thinking about the educational journey unfolding in schools where our children are being educated, I am thinking about the spiritual journey unfolding across the world through a number of prophetic ministries, I am thinking about the personal journeys of many individuals that underpin these areas.
When it comes down to it, the buck still lands with the individual so how are we teaching in our homes the need for ownership? How are we modelling this to a generation so desperately in need of it? A generation that insists they want to see integrity worked out for them rather than told to them yet a generation that consumes so much from social media, artificially generated information rather then real life community values.
Reasons why we might prefer not to take ownership
1) Fear
2) A lack of support, problem seems too BIG to overcome.
3) Comfort
4) Lack of knowledge
5) Responsibility not properly clarified
The impact of not taking ownership
Lack of integrity,
Low sense of self awareness,
Stunted growth
Benefits of taking ownership over denial
Alignment
Effectiveness through developing our cutting edge
Finding balance
Improved problem solving abilities
Increased capacity
Expanded vision.
We can be a large nation with many natural resources but yet still not boost of the things we ought to on a global scale. There is a depth of ownership that needs to be taken to effect the necessary change that enables a nation operate effectively on a global platform. Its one thing to be known for your resources and another to be know for how efficiently you use them.
Lets zoom out and have a look at corporations and entities. Something the western world is very good at doing is taking ownership, learning from their mistakes - through inquires and public accountability committees. I have worked with a public organisation for the past 8 years and there is always a detailed enquiry that follows any national incident. This is simply about giving someone a slap on the wrist but about learning from the incident and preventing the same problems from happening in future. This is key in taking ownership of any space.
When we consider corporations we think of global corporations going boost like Enron, Carillion. Digging deep we see the same issue of low accountability which means the board was not taking ownership on the things they needed to be vigilant on at the right time in the right way. Although, these organisation may have formed the right relationships and partnership corporately, it is apparently those relationships and corporate governance systems/structures where not working effectively enough to deal with the issues that eventually came to light.
Failing at any relationship corporate or personal is hard. Failing at a marriage is not pretty and failing publicly as well can be demoralising to say the least particularly when you went in with the best of intentions. I love that there is always GRACE yet grace does not exempt us from the need to carry our cross. It does not exempt us from the learning, it may make room for us, space and even give back time but the learning will still be required.
When my marriage broke down I had to take ownership, when I became a single mum unexpectedly I had to take ownership, when I experienced set backs in my career I still had to take ownership every single day. Understand that with taking ownership - where it is something that involves you and others, you have your bit to take ownership of and the other party have their bit to take ownership of. You cannot take ownership for them. Taking ownership in such a situation is equivalent to stagnating their growth as well as yours. Identify and be clear on what these things are if possible with them and if not you simply focus on you.
We can be married and still have little or no fulfilment. I honestly believe this is because one or both parties might be failing in taking responsibility or ownership of growth areas.
In my culture, I observe how many times the women takes ownership for the failures of husbands, partners, boyfriends and even children frequently "enabling them to not grow" as they should.
We can have family but still be stagnated because someone keeps lagging behind and keeping others back.
Taking ownership requires humility, patience and kindness. The Power of Extreme Ownership: Leadership Lessons from the Battlefield to the Boardroom - LifeHack
On a personal level there are many things we need to take ownership of, including;
Our relationships
Our children
Our mistakes or disappointments
Our work
Our assignment
Our dreams
Our words
Our health (mental , physical and spiritual)
5 things that support effective ownership
I would say there are 5 things that can help us take ownership or build a structure that supports effective ownership over denial on the journey:
Understand the responsibility
Have the right information
Take stock of lessons learnt
Work with the right people and develop the right partnerships
Be knowledgeable of your pressure points/risks and opportunities
Ownership is a two sided coin and both sides present opportunity for significant growth and potential on our journey. Lets be humans that take stock of both sides to live a more impactful journey!
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