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Couarge: Part 1

It takes courage to love like you've never been hurt before.

We often think of courage as great big valiant acts, elaborate movements of change and obvious bravado that immediately attracts a strong circle of influence. While courage is some of that, it is also the intangible steps of faith we take. Those steps that are closeted away but so relevant in sustaining the obvious and the tangible, so relevant in sustaining the result of our quiet convictions.

Courage starts on the inside, a conviction even when we are not aware that conviction lives inside us so much so that any other way just wouldn't work, wouldn't be right for us. Imagine, a teenage girl who finds herself in an abusive, turbulent relationship with a boy who in times past has said he loved her. One day, somewhere deep inside her is a "niggle" that situation is not quite right, that she is worth more than he has demonstrated she is...but its just a niggle. She could be wrong she thinks. But then the niggle won't go away, it gets stronger and stronger each passing day. A conviction is being manifested deep inside of her.and that conviction is the stirring of courage. What she does with it, is a completely different story.

I want to talk about those niggles that are closeted away in quiet moments where no one sees us, were no one knows except our heavenly Father. I want to touch on those times a word was passed between strangers that planted a seed that would begin to niggle at us, the times we felt moved by something we saw with our eyes and wished we could do something about it, the times we burned with fiery outrage at the treatment of another human being or even the treatment of ourselves but said and did nothing, the times we wished we could reach out and heal with a simple touch. I want to talk about those moments because those moments are full of so much power than we believe and potential of unimaginable courage.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us." These are the wise words of Marianne Williamson.

We all have moments where we think we could literally fly....but something suddenly snaps, brings us back so quickly so abruptly and fear comes like a warm blanket almost. I call it the warm blanket because we consider the certainty there, you know what to except, its safe. Crazy I know but that's the reality of how we often choose to live even when in reality the circumstances are completely unhealthy for us. We think, I know this place, I understand the ins and outs here, if I turn that corner I know exactly what is waiting and if I where to climb those ladders over there I know what's on the rooftop, I know the exact view I am gonna get and we like that certainty. The mistake is to settle in that certainty. Its the warm blanket, the knowing but in the knowing fear has found its bed as well. Ha!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way." Proverbs 3:5-6. Our heavenly father is saying we ought not to trust in our knowledge for a reason and I believe that reason is rooted in this analogy of fear sleeping in the same bed with us.

And so when we are faced with moments when we could have said something or done something as a result of a niggle, our supposititious sleeping partner shrugs that blanket a little tighter round us and we settle back in to the known, the comfortable. Fear whispers, "You stay right here under the covers with me, unseen, unheard. That's right, its safer that way."

Can I suggest to you again that there is power in the niggling moments of your life if you decide to really search yourself in those moments, if you decide to put your trust, your hope your dream in the hand of God who will direct your path. He knows the words to speak to you in those moments, he knows exactly what you need to hear, he knows exactly who to send on the same path you are walking, it doesn't matter how disastrous you have made it or your father has made or your mother or your husband He knows how to get to you. He knows what to feed you if you will just trust the light he has placed on the inside of you. Oh that you would you let that light burn with His living word so that "warm blanket" is consumed to expose every fear, every doubt, every strangulation of the enemy that has held you bound and His total peace have its place with you.

I am asking you to search those niggles until you experience a trembling in your spirit requiring a new surrender to God, requiring a deeper level of vulnerability and honesty. He knows exactly what to do with it. You just hold on for the ride. He may take you through some rough turns, deep you in rushing waves. You may find yourself alone in a valley with nothing but dirt about you. You may find the only friend you have left is your conviction, your faith, your belief in His truth but my friend if it is of God, if it is grounded in true love, its all the courage you need.

Be blessed.

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