Passion. Who really talks about passion these days? Do we even know what that means anymore? Are we too busy running after the degree? the next class? The relationship? The children? The promotion?
When did the things, the activities we really love to do become less important? And what are those things that really stop us from experiencing and living out our passion?
While researching for this blog, I was privileged to come across a book by Burnett-Zeigler, an American Psychologist with over 20 years experience and written a book called "Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen: The Emotional Lives of Black Women." A great read which I will surely revisit and has began to shed even more light on perhaps how and why women from my particular cultural background often ignore their passions while chasing other things. One big learning from the book and what I heard echoed at my book launch which by the way happened to be attended by men and women from a variety of cultural backgrounds felt that they weren't really paying enough attention to their passions and in some cases didn't quite know what their voice was.
In my book the Painted Flawless Manual I write that "Passions are a big polisher of voice..." in order words no passion, very little or no voice.
Anne Hartley, a life coach and best selling author says, "Passion is your soul's way of telling you that you are on your path."
As I write this blog I think about the dynamics across a multitude of cultures that exist that make it perhaps difficult to weigh, explore even understand what passion really is. For example, a research article produced in 2013 showed that Asian applicants on a corporate job interview showed less awareness of what their passion was compared to their American counterparts ? It read..
"America is an individualistic culture — the ultimate “me” culture. We not only hold dear to my point of view, we feel a compulsion to express what I think, do what I think is appropriate, even if it doesn’t please others." Recognizing Our American Cultural Bias For "Passion" - Dreambridge Partners.
Some may think this is a self centred even selfish concept but this is actually a biblical concept that requires us not to be men pleasers but God pleasers! So seeking to please God in the purest truest way is seeking ourselves out without fear of what a man would say and I find it hard to believe that a God that has so lavishly created this world didn't place passion in you that guides you to fulfil your life uniquely NOT selfishly but uniquely.
I am passionate about writing and reading - so passionate I was willing to start a podcast and even start broadcasting on social media when I am naturally introverted and I don't necessarily lean toward the limelight because i realise that engaging with others would add even more value to my writing....take my passion for reading and writing away and there isn't much I can say on my podcast or any of my social media platforms. Writing for me isn't simply a play of words it goes further than that because I have learnt to accompany my passion for writing with strengths that I have but that isn't what this blog is about. This blog is about finding your passions.
I like to think of passion as something that can do any or all of the below:
- Excites me
- Comforts me
- Brings me joy
- Sometimes scares me
- Involves people in someway shape or form
- Polishes my voice
- Heals me
My ability to feel these things and act on them can be dulled though by many factors and that this is the reason why some of us do not explore our passions to see where they lead us. Our passions could lead to some really exciting places, people and experiences.
Passion is described as "a state or outburst of strong emotion".
In my book, I also talk about some of the things that have generated this kind of strong emotions inside of me and how I have leaned into it in a controlled fashion. Self control is a key ingredient in exploring our passions we often neglect it yet is an intricate element to understanding what our passions really mean for us and our individual situations, sometimes collective.
In discussing passion here, I am not referring to "intense sexual love". That is a completely different kind of passion, one that needs control too but just not covered specifically in this blog !
Lets explore some for the things that could spoil your passion or drive for it:
- Disappointment - Disappointment can be painful and the natural response is that we don't want to feel the pain again so we avoid the action that led to it. Yet the action might still be required. Your disappointment does not change the fact that you have been appointed for something. If anything, it ought to be a reminder that the time perhaps isn't right. The mistake we often make with time being right is thinking just because the opportunity is available the time is right. Sometimes God needs the opportunity, the moment to be ready for you. Yes, you are that relevant in the exceeding flamboyant tapestry he is weaving with our lives. We ought to hope in the truth that things are being lined up for our benefit even in the rejections or disappointments of life. The antidote for disappointment is hope.
- Distractions - This particular point seemed to be the echo of quite a few women at my book launch. Distractions, whether naturally occurring or fabricated to enable their own man made escape from doing the things that really matter to them. Sometimes it easier to deal with the distraction than the challenge of exploring your passion because it may involve more effort than you'd like or can entertain at the present moment. Still those passions don't go away, they are simply numbed. Distractions are temporary, your passions could last a life time and lead to many other things that are intended to make eternal impact. Distractions often seek to keep you in the moment and stuck, passions desire to drive you forward constantly. And while distracts seek to take your peace, passion gives you peace because it brings clarity and focus when pursued in a controlled fashion. Toni Payne says "I feels things deeply is called passion, I reason before I react it's called common sense." The antidote for distractions is renewed focus.
- Unbelief - Unbelief results from so many different things, the oppressive environments or factors surrounding our unique circumstance, the failure after attempting something time and time again, the nay sayers. Unbelief is a real passion killer because in order for anyone else to believe in what you are saying or doing they need to catch a glimpse of your own believe in it. Think of a time you fought for something or someone or gave up something to help someone, it was because you believed in that person or cause, may have been a small measure of belief but it was there enough to move you. That's exactly what passion does it moves you but unbelief extinguishes the desire to move on behalf of something or someone. The antidote for this is belief.
- Laziness - We all recognise this one. I think we have all had that feeling of the heaviness of our own bodies and minds and literally needing to drag it where we most go. The feeling of lethargy coupled with a lack of any kind of anticipation. Isolation could cause laziness...Passion seeks to prosper you and fulfil you, laziness will always do the opposite! According to the bible, laziness brings us to ruin. So it goes without saying that hard work is important in cultivating our passions. The antidote is hard work.
- Lack of self-awareness - A good understanding of ourselves and of others helps us draw deep things out including our passions. Exploring these passions builds on from being aware of who we are what we are capable of, our strengths, our weaknesses, our deep pain and sufferings and the joys that make our life what it is. Cultivating our passions will require self control and this cannot be easily done without being self aware. The antidote is awareness.
- Unsuitable or ineffective interpersonal relationships - We cannot ignore the power of association on our passions. The people often called "gifted" or "talented" are those who have been given the opportunity to cultivate their strengths. Without cultivation it lays dormant and without the right people encouraging you or providing the right tools it is challenging which could led to despondence. When we look at the issue of inequalities whether in the society, in health or the corporate world as a whole, those who are further ahead than their peers often got a hand up or held some advantage on the playing field and this was purely as a result of perhaps pedigree or association, in order words sometimes the circle we find ourselves in stimulates those passions or dampen it! The antidote is love.
- Unforgiveness - This is what the late Desmond Tutu said about forgiveness - Without forgiveness there is no future. Imagine all the possibilities you rid your life of when you decide to live with unforgiveness. Just as many lives, generations are connected to your act of forgiveness, your passion is connected as well. Unforgiveness creates a hardened heart and hardened hearts are unbelieving heart. Our passions require us to believe. The antidote to unforgiveness is very simply forgiveness.
- Perfectionism - "I am perfect". Not exactly true, no one but God is perfect. So when we are constantly stuck in this world trying to be perfect and have everything around us work perfectly we will get burnt, worn out, lose faith, friends, connections because people who are perfectionist tend to have an overly critical spirit that doesn't encourage those around them much less themselves. Passion cannot thrive in that environment. What we can thrive to be is perfect in love and that love will drive out any kind of fear we feel about our inadequacies or failures and those of others too. Love helps us hope for the best and increases faith in ourselves and others. Passion needs grace and time to be all its called to be, an overly critical spirit can ruin that. The antidote for perfectionism is compassion.
I hope these things I have shared help to keep you on the path to the real you or certainly help you find it !