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My Soul is female

As a woman coming into your own, an understanding of who you are and your purpose is so important, no, its critical. It is critical because you are a pillar. Pillars are strong, pillars are supportive and pillars sometimes go unnoticed even though visible. Their purpose in maintaining the integrity of a building should never be undermined.

Many of us women, I have found, particularly within the black community have been "conditioned" to limit ourselves but in the process of this violation of our identity a fictitious burial has occurred. One in which "our personal person" is no longer with us. By personal person I mean the true essence of who we are.

In that forlorn state we have lost our integrity even our accountability to ourselves. It is hard for the world to have faith in anything that remains obscure to them and it is hard for you to be accountable to something that is unknown to you even when it is the real you. In other words, if the real you is unknown, you are persuaded to provide next to no accountability on its account.

It does require courage to facilitate the emergence of our authentic self but with this emergence we can identify the building(s) to which we have been fashioned as pillars to support and to hold up.

What building have you as a woman been designed for today or in this season? What building(s) have you been assigned as your life purpose? Let's find out in my series "My Soul is Female".


Pillars - the first episode from my series My soul is female

Pillars are strong. 

The book of psalms says


"Then our sons in their youth

    will be like well-nurtured plants,

and our daughters will be like pillars

    carved to adorn a palace."

Some of us have forgotten we are daughters, our role as mothers, sisters, teachers, leaders to mention a few has consumed so much to the point of forgetting. 

The color or decorations on a pillar pales in comparison to its ability to carry the weight for which it is designed. That doesn't mean the physical attributes don't matter - in fact the physical attributes have been tailored with its purpose in mind, its unique strength and dignity go hand in hand. What the pillar looks like is rather less important than it position and its strength. When we as women are lost squabbling over being seen and therefore how we look, we miss the point, we miss the building, we miss the monumental moments.


The ability to hold weight is often determined by positioning. A woman who understands her position is already influential, she is already seen.


When I think of pillars, I am immediately thrown back to some of my visits to some amazing cathedrals in Europe. Cathedrals big or small are such magnificent structures! Each one crafted to provide a celestial experience permitting you escape from this world to a higher one. You can immediately see the strength and beauty of the buildings but when you first go into them the pillars holding them up are probably the last thing you "properly" notice because they have been made to almost blend with the decorative style of the buildings. When noticed it is rarely for their very important function which is supportive but for the beauty and style the add to the building.


Pillars work as part of an all encompassing support system. So ladies no shame in asking for help and there is so much grace in reaching out to help another. It should come as no surprise that we enjoy our company and the details we love to indulge in when conversing. Women have emotions that need to be processed delicately and it needs to be done in the right space. Just as not every woman you know is called to walk along side you not every woman that is, will look just like you - its about content. The color of our skin, our earthly cultural heritage, our relationship experiences, our physical limitations may differ significantly but the sum of these things and their influence on our soul is what may or may not make us relevant to another woman's journey.


An important fact remains, pillars designed to hold up structures never dwell in isolation. If one pillar falls the integrity of the building is compromised and that is why we most encourage each other, sharpen each other with our words and in action. What we find in the world is women cutting each other down and we wonder why nations are crumbling, leaders are unsure. We find women being forced to act like men or simply not knowing any better because of abuse or neglect and so leaving their rightful positions vacant. When the place of a pillar holding up a structure is left vacant what do you think happens?


Lets consider the story of Samson. This is the story about the strongest man in the bible, if you haven't read it I encourage you to. After Samson had been captured and blinded by his enemies, the Philistines, he was brought out to entertain them in their temple. He asked the servant boy who held his hand to place him  ".. where I can feel the pillars that support the temple..." He braced himself between two pillars and pushed with his might. In that one incident, Samson killed more people than he had killed in his entire life when that temple came crashing down.

The statement and the operative word "feel" within it does make me wonder what or who I give access to my "feelings". It makes me wonder about the circumstances my feelings have been predisposed to react to even when I ought to be in control. It makes me wonder about the people in my life controlling my emotions rather than experiencing my stillness.

The delicate workings and frame of the female body continues to be the wonder it is till today not even science has been able to replicate its intricacies. Her frame has been tailored to her emotional disposition. Stillness in a woman's emotions brings in-depth understanding of who she is and what she needs to set about building. A true revelation of who she is remains a sure antidote to emotional anarchy. Pillars are still. 

This speaks of the durability of the pillar as well and in many ways the woman is called to endure circumstances only disposition is better able to withstand.


Pillars represent strength that is established by God. 

One of my favorites words is the word "establish". It means "to set up on a firm or permanent basis". 

When Solomon built the temple for God, he erected two pillars, one in-front, called one Jakin meaning to establish" and the other Boaz meaning "in strength"

A real woman is "clothed in strength and dignity."


A pillar is never in doubt as to why it has been built, it is never unclear to anyone seeing it why it stands where it stands. If it doesn't stand it is not required but as long as it has been forged and stands it is absolutely required. That is how relevant the pillar is to the building plan. That is how relevant you are to the master's plan. Yet there are several reasons why a woman might not think so or perhaps she has forgotten - lets talk about this in the next episode "Violation of her identity".

Violation of her identity

"Our sexual differences are the terms of our life and to obscure them in any way is to weaken the very fabric of life itself. When they are lost, we are lost." Elizabeth Elliott - Let me be a woman

The feminine challenge has been building through time and is the fabric of the culture in which we live. We find our tender form, young girls, losing themselves before they have known themselves - lost in a culture that has become heavily focused on the surface of things and less on depth and when required to go deep (to mature), prefer manipulation of our alternate form rather than self-actualization of their own. 

Let us be honest, being a woman comes with its own set of legitimate limitations.  I believe, our soul has been crafted with unique qualities that complement our physical form. Our journey need not be without tact or lacking good understanding of our unique form as these limitations narrow our focus - like a sword, to cut through and be effective. With no limitations, with no precise focus or intention, we are like a blunt sword. 

Taking us back in time, we can see that, God identified the man (Adam) was alone so He creates woman (Eve). This served to resolve the “alone problem” and included a multiplication facility, a stabilizer and incubator for life. Woman. Do you know who you are, your value to the earth to say the least?! 

It is common knowledge that failure to comply with a vessel’s intended design is a disaster and yet this violation continues to percolate.  

Not suggesting women are not culpable in some way for the issues we face today, I don't think so at all. As recorded by Eve’s attempt to be like God, she wanted to know what He knows and set off a ripple of confusion and this ectopic moment in history continuous to play over and over, from generation to generation. 

Some women may say, "hey! am not Eve" or please! Eve was from forever ago so how does this relate to me today?" Am glad you asked that question as I too wondered myself. It is not always obvious the damage we enable but if we look closely at our relationships and interactions we may begin to see patterns. We are so often influenced by cultural notions and preconceptions that are not founded on our makers instructions because they are so ingrained in society, in our peer groups, in our families, dare I say, even in our churches and considered normal. The recent talks about discrimination experienced by black women in the western world for example, is systematic, ingrained in the fabric of society and a lot of these labels circulated as a result, are not true, they are misconstrued and do not reaffirm who we are as women, black or white.

There are some things that we collectively do instinctively, such as to cover up when we are hurt or ashamed. This could be the forlorn reason why we sometimes hide away our talents, our gifts, our opinions, our originality, our true feelings, our true self! The result of this is a soul struggling to be set free, a soul robbed of expression.

The word hide means "to put something or someone in a place where that thing or person cannot be seen or found, or to put yourself somewhere you cannot be seen or found:"

Have you ever wondered why Adam and Eve covered their genitals after they ate the fruit of the tree of life and hid from God? Why didn't they hide their eyes or their ears or bear leaves upon their heads? Why cover the genitals? Can I suggest, it was instinctive for Adam and Eve to cover these parts up because they were not only the primary parts of their form that differentiated them but also the parts that enabled fruitfulness and fulfilment (the original mandate to multiply and fill the earth). This core had been violently and deceitfully attacked.

Fulfilment happens at great depth and so does violation. The concepts of fulfilment and violence have a singular point of reference - Relationship. Eve spent time interacting with the serpent before she fell, before she became confused about her identity.

The same mechanism/instrument that enables us to fulfil ourselves unequivocally is the same that could facilitate and has been the most severe form of violation from the beginning. Neither man nor woman can truly fulfil themselves without relationship and real relationship is experienced in our differences.

We should therefore accept that some limitations are legitimate. When we choose to violate the limitations of a vessel, we compromise it and its intended purpose. The act of violation causes our personal person to be buried within a hardened shell-like covering in an attempt to combat the pain of rejection.

Someone somewhere figured out if you are too busy and consumed by offences like, “they don't accept me because of the color of my skin”, “they do not value my talents on this team”, “I am underpaid as a woman and undervalued as a mother in my home”, “I do not speak the same language as these people” etc. all on the premise of trying to be who you are not, you would be less concerned and therefore less knowledgeable about who you really are on the inside because you are busy hiding your real self, fueled by the rejection or possibility of the rejection of your personal person. 

Woman, is it possible this core of you has been frustrated into a place of hiding and this core of you really does determine your fruitfulness and fulfilment? To understand this core you must understand you have intentionally been made separate and different from any alternate form. Bask in that knowledge, don't hide, don't argue about it, don't get frustrated with it, bask in it!

The world would love for the woman to remain uncertain, unclear, it would love for us to be in this constant flux of trying to discover ourselves instead of just knowing and therefore being - woman.

Our rightful position as women, our essence of peace and joy has suffered severe violence, this was the same experience of the very first woman -  Eve. We talk of organized crime in the world today, well crime doesn't get any more organized than this. 

Let’s cast an eye over conspiracy theories developed over the years about why she was approached and tempted instead of her alternate form: 

- Eve being a woman was the weaker vessel?

- Eve came out of the man, Adam?

- Eve just happened to be alone at the time? Lol!

I am not convinced by any of these theories as the reason for the attack on woman. I believe it was something far more profound. I think it was about purpose, the intended purpose of the vessel.

But are we ready to do the work required, are we ready to work out our faith. It requires gumption and courage. We'll talk about that in the next episode "Obscurity and faith".

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